I saw a man ready to strangle another this morning. I had just dropped off Sofia at her school when I heard the escalating shouts. I couldn't understand what the older man was saying to the motorcyclist, who had apparently been caught by surprise, but I just knew what he was saying. "What do you think you're doing you moron!!! You almost ran me over!! Drive on the road like everyone else instead of the sidewalk!!! You could've gotten me killed!!!"
It's the same thing I secretly think to myself every time a motorcyclist jumps the curb. And although I was kind of happy to know that it wasn't just me, my foreign and American self, thinking these things... I couldn't help but feel a teeny bit sorry for the guy who was probably having a million different Hindi insults hurled at him. It was oddly silent around this guy shouting amidst the overly crowded morning traffic because everyone was really curious to know what all the drama was about. And the motorcyclist couldn't say much... he didn't yell back... he couldn't because he knew he had gotten caught and also because the guy yelling at him was obviously much older than him, and here in India, there is a deep reverence and respect for their elders. When the traffic started moving again, that motorcyclist, whom the elder man most likely nicknamed "moron", was finally free to escape the frantic shouts.
Showing posts with label India. Show all posts
Showing posts with label India. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
Happy (Baha'i) New Year
Today's been a good day.... a slow and seemingly unproductive day, but still good. I woke up this morning before Sofia and Gilberto, and although I could've slept in more I decided to take advantage of the time with a long hot shower, a quick clean of the apartment, the newspaper and a goooood cup of coffee (which was laced with too much sugar). Aaaaah nice :) By the time Sofia woke up it had been long enough for me to be tired of my alone time and I was missing her terribly! We greeted each other with the usual "morning, sunshine" and as I held my not-so-baby baby in my arms I couldn't help but squeeze her tight and be ever so thankful for her. Most of the rest of the day has been spent just enjoying our extra day off and long weekend. Today is the Baha'i New Year so we celebrated by eating a stash of small chocolates I had put away for safe-keeping, and boy did we enjoy it :-) Sofia's like me... a choc-oholic and quite good at being one too I must say. As I type this post now, my little chunky monkey has passed out on the couch from a sugar-induced coma.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
The Land of Contradictions
I read recently from a westerner's observations of India that it is a land of contradictions. "India is beyond statement, for anything you say, the opposite is also true. It's rich and poor, spiritual and material, cruel and kind, angry but peaceful, ugly and beautiful, and smart but stupid. It's all the extremes... India is in some ways like a fun hall of mirrors where (you) can see both sides of each contradiction sharply and there's no easy escape to understanding." Slowly I am realizing the many truths in this statement.
We have an Indian lady who comes to our apartment daily to clean that we have come to genuinely like because she has shown such outward affection toward our little girl Sofia - smiling, laughing, hugging her and even giving her gifts. Western guilt combined with our uneasiness of having someone coming to our place to do the cleaning and washing for us, has made us show an unusual display of kindness and leniency towards her, at least by Indian standards. But after giving her one time an unusually generous monetary gift to "help her daughter take an exam for school", we've slowly been fed more and more stories of her misfortune. Stories and complaints of her husband's daily drunkenness, her non-stop, no-day-off-even-when-she's-sick-with-fever job, her daughter's (and now son's) inability to attend college or take exams because of exorbitant fees, and then giving herself two days off to take her daughter to the doctor for a "headache", after which she lists off the many tests and fees she can't afford to pay. Having just recently taken our own daughter to the hospital, for which she was keenly aware, I began to feel a deep sorrow and sympathy that our "friend", despite working every day of her life, and having a husband who is a drunkard and spends all the little money he makes, and unable to send her daughter AND son to school, couldn't afford to help her daughter in her illness. What a wretched, rich American I am! At least, that is how I felt.
After consulting with Gilberto about the matter, because now the guilt has become REALLY pricey, we began to be a little suspicious. When I asked her to give me the name and phone number of her daughter's doctor so we can call and see what tests need to be done and how we can help, the response I was given was no more than a half-hearted, lopsided smile and "yes, ma'am". There were no more smiles when she said goodbye for the day and we never did get the doctor's phone number from her. We were soon made aware from dear Indian friends of ours that this is a common tactic from "the help" to squeeze money out of a guilt-ridden Westerner (when in fact they are doing just fine money-wise). The betrayal I felt was deep and personal.
But then I would read in the newspapers over and over again of just the opposite... not betrayal but loyalty to a fellow citizen. When a pedestrian is hit by a car or bus or motorcycle on the road and the person driving attempts to drive off, citizens who witnessed the incident stop what they're doing and run after the person. It never fails... it's actually what is expected because everyone knows that the police always happen to come way too late when the accused have already taken off. This is their way of ensuring the victim gets some justice. If the criminal is beaten up and put into the hospital, at least then there will be record of his name and then he can face the punishment that comes with being so careless on the road. It's an odd example of loyalty perhaps, but it shows that the Indian people not only feel justice is important for themselves but also have a personal sense of commitment to each other in that regard.
So even as I feel a certain betrayal of sorts by the Indian people who have taken advantage of my kindness, I am comforted a little by the contradicting loyalty as well. Making the sorrow only skin deep and ultimately banishing my naivete in a world that is not so innocent, which is a valuable lesson in my eyes.
This realization came to me suddenly and quite randomly while I was sitting in a autorickshaw, while smelling the many smells of India amid the morning Bangalore traffic and surrounded by a mob of motorcycles and rickshaws inching their way forward at every opportunity, that despite the betrayal there is a very real camaraderie and loyalty, even if displayed in the most odd circumstances. Suddenly I felt the compassion and loyalty as we all made our way forward, inch by inch in a melodic unison.
We have an Indian lady who comes to our apartment daily to clean that we have come to genuinely like because she has shown such outward affection toward our little girl Sofia - smiling, laughing, hugging her and even giving her gifts. Western guilt combined with our uneasiness of having someone coming to our place to do the cleaning and washing for us, has made us show an unusual display of kindness and leniency towards her, at least by Indian standards. But after giving her one time an unusually generous monetary gift to "help her daughter take an exam for school", we've slowly been fed more and more stories of her misfortune. Stories and complaints of her husband's daily drunkenness, her non-stop, no-day-off-even-when-she's-sick-with-fever job, her daughter's (and now son's) inability to attend college or take exams because of exorbitant fees, and then giving herself two days off to take her daughter to the doctor for a "headache", after which she lists off the many tests and fees she can't afford to pay. Having just recently taken our own daughter to the hospital, for which she was keenly aware, I began to feel a deep sorrow and sympathy that our "friend", despite working every day of her life, and having a husband who is a drunkard and spends all the little money he makes, and unable to send her daughter AND son to school, couldn't afford to help her daughter in her illness. What a wretched, rich American I am! At least, that is how I felt.
After consulting with Gilberto about the matter, because now the guilt has become REALLY pricey, we began to be a little suspicious. When I asked her to give me the name and phone number of her daughter's doctor so we can call and see what tests need to be done and how we can help, the response I was given was no more than a half-hearted, lopsided smile and "yes, ma'am". There were no more smiles when she said goodbye for the day and we never did get the doctor's phone number from her. We were soon made aware from dear Indian friends of ours that this is a common tactic from "the help" to squeeze money out of a guilt-ridden Westerner (when in fact they are doing just fine money-wise). The betrayal I felt was deep and personal.
But then I would read in the newspapers over and over again of just the opposite... not betrayal but loyalty to a fellow citizen. When a pedestrian is hit by a car or bus or motorcycle on the road and the person driving attempts to drive off, citizens who witnessed the incident stop what they're doing and run after the person. It never fails... it's actually what is expected because everyone knows that the police always happen to come way too late when the accused have already taken off. This is their way of ensuring the victim gets some justice. If the criminal is beaten up and put into the hospital, at least then there will be record of his name and then he can face the punishment that comes with being so careless on the road. It's an odd example of loyalty perhaps, but it shows that the Indian people not only feel justice is important for themselves but also have a personal sense of commitment to each other in that regard.
So even as I feel a certain betrayal of sorts by the Indian people who have taken advantage of my kindness, I am comforted a little by the contradicting loyalty as well. Making the sorrow only skin deep and ultimately banishing my naivete in a world that is not so innocent, which is a valuable lesson in my eyes.
This realization came to me suddenly and quite randomly while I was sitting in a autorickshaw, while smelling the many smells of India amid the morning Bangalore traffic and surrounded by a mob of motorcycles and rickshaws inching their way forward at every opportunity, that despite the betrayal there is a very real camaraderie and loyalty, even if displayed in the most odd circumstances. Suddenly I felt the compassion and loyalty as we all made our way forward, inch by inch in a melodic unison.
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